Are You Living Your Purpose?
I’ve been a grownup for a lot of years now, but I have always wondered when I’d feel like one. Oh, don’t get me wrong…there are days when my hips, knees and knuckles let me know in no uncertain terms that I’ve been living on this Earth in this physical form for more than half a century now. But I don’t feel like a grownup.
Jumping Tracks
When I was a kid, I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast, and then I wanted to join the circus (so I could ride elephants all day long). I wanted to write a book — until something in me said I would never have enough imagination or creativity to write a whole book. And then I turned practical. Doctor. Lawyer. Mother of twins (so I could get the whole pregnancy/childbirth thing out of the way all at once…).
Go to college.
Get a job.
Get married.
Have kids.
Retire.
Travel.
In that order.
That practical phase didn’t last long. I got sidetracked.
Except that I don’t think I actually got sidetracked.
I think my soul pulled me along in ways that were more me, whether I was aware of it or not. And each time I attempted to hop back on the train of adulthood, the train jumped the track and took me in another direction.
I felt like something was wrong with me because I couldn’t just stick with the plan. I thought I was somehow missing out on living the good life because I’d get so bored with what I thought I was supposed to be doing that I’d abandon it.
My life didn’t seem to have a point.
I didn’t seem to have a purpose.
So, why am I always happiest when I let myself just be? When I do what feels like me rather than what I think I’m supposed to do?
Finding Purpose
I watched a webinar last week. Robert Holden. I’d heard about his book Shift Happens and wanted to read it, but I don’t really know anything about him. A friend told me about the webinar, so I thought I’d give it a watch. In the hour that I listened to him and his co-leader talk, the best part took place within about a fifteen-minute segment at the end. And within that slice of time, Robert said one thing that made me think, “Yeeees…this is why I’m listening to this…”
He said, “Your purpose isn’t what you do; it’s who you are.”
Let me say that again:
“Your purpose isn’t what you do; it’s who you are.”
We often mistake what we do with who we are. You may think of yourself as a physicist.
A chef.
A professor.
A sanitation worker.
A teacher.
A parent.
An artist.
But it isn’t who you are. No matter how honorable, respectable, or noble your role is in life, it isn’t your purpose. You may think highly of yourself, or not think much of yourself at all. You may be homeless or live in a mansion, but that isn’t who you are.
Giving Out of Nothing
I was thinking about this post this morning, and for some reason, the book the Giving Tree came to mind. I can’t read that book without getting choked up and shedding some tears (who’s with me on this?).
When I worked at a (U.S.) childcare center in Germany, the kids would often ask me to read that book for storytime. Oh, how I dreaded those requests.
It was nearly impossible for me to get through without long pauses and furious blinking to hold the tears at bay. If you’ve never read this book, go to your local library and read it. But make sure you find a quiet corner and bring a tissue to dab your eyes.
Why was that book so sad to me? And to so many others who read it?
I think it’s kind of hard to pin down. This tree obviously gets joy in giving to the boy, but she gives and gives and gives until she is completed depleted. Exhausted. With nothing left to give. And the boy took what she offered, not necessarily out of greed, but because he felt he needed it and the gifts were offered. He loved the tree. But the tree never got to just be a tree. She existed to make the boy happy, and eventually, she had nothing left.
She may have thought her purpose was to provide for the boy, but in doing so, she eventually runs out of things to give. You can’t give out of an empty well, so to speak. Yet, at the end of it all, they are both just content with resting in one another’s company, which is really how it should have been all along.
Am I stretching here in my analysis? Perhaps. But maybe not. We can find meaning in the books we read or the shows we watch based on where we’re at in our lives. Sometimes the author intends it, sometimes not. It doesn’t matter.
Getting to the Root of It
Look around at nature, without interference from humans. Nature just is. The tree fulfills its purpose because it is. So do the spider, the snake, the rat, the bacteria, the salmon, the bear, the newt.
We’ve forgotten how to do that for ourselves. We tend to link a purpose with some sort of goal. And usually, it’s something lofty and noble. There is nothing wrong with goals, not at all. But your goal isn’t you. Whether you attain your goals or not, they don’t define you or your purpose.
Your purpose is to get to know yourself and love yourself, just as you are. Look past the noise, the chatter in your head and around you, the should haves, would haves, could haves. Look beyond your past, your successes, your failures. You can’t ignore them, stuff them down and pretend they don’t exist, but you can look beyond them. Acknowledge them, and then dig deeper.
Discovering Your Passion
And in the process of getting to know yourself, you may discover you have a passion for being a parent, but it isn’t because your children are your identity. You’re still you, and you get joy in watching your children be who they are, even when it’s hard.
You may discover that you love working in a grocery store, stocking shelves, because it gives you hours in the day to think about the mysteries of life and the universe, or not much at all. But stocking shelves isn’t your purpose.
Perhaps in finding yourself, getting to know yourself, you discover that you love to write stories, put words on a page that hint at larger ideas and the things you can’t ever truly name. But that isn’t your purpose.
We all have the same purpose in life. In getting to know yourself, you find what gives you joy, what brings you peace, what offers satisfaction in the completion (even when it’s hard). But that isn’t your purpose.
When you know you, what you do is an extension of who you are. It doesn’t define who you are; you define it. And your purpose lasts a lifetime, but how you express it can change during your lifetime.
Being Great
Your purpose in life is to be you. Discover who you are underneath the weight of your circumstances and history and labels and tags. You don’t have to do something great; you already are great. You’re already beautiful, no matter what your circumstances are.
Discover you.
Live you.
Peel back those layers, shed the weight, and let the real you be.
How do you get there? I think one great way is to get out into nature. Nature really is healing.
Walk in nature.
Sit among the trees. Lie next to a flowing river.
Listen to the leaves rustling in the breeze. Hear the insects buzzing
and the birds chirping. Breathe deep. Open yourself up
to the beauty of beings just,,,
being.
Feel your place among them.
And if you can’t go to the woods, mountains, or rivers, go into your backyard and sit in the grass, or walk down the block and sit next to that giant old maple that graces the city sidewalk with her wisdom, strength, and beauty.
No matter how much we try to control, tame, and bend nature to our will, nature just IS. You can be too. We all can be.
What are your thoughts? Please share in the comments!